Me, as usual, doing things I shouldn't do.
I borrowed $2000 from my parents, ostensibly to pay off credit card bills. I've used half of it to start my own "cyber empire." I've long thought that there was money to be made in e-commerce, but went about it the wrong way, falling for get rich quick schemes. My determination strengthened this year and I started websites with storefronts (one adult and one non-adult, both with a multitude of products) for the purpose of funding the publication and promotion of my books (one being prepared for press, one in the process of being written a myriad of others waiting to be written.) 50 per cent of the profits from the books will be donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division.
All of these things are worthwhile reasons for me to be working two full time jobs--my regular job and the designing of the websites. I am not especially HTML literate. I comprehend it at approximately a first grade reading level and can figure out how to make very minor changes. I want to buy a good WYSIWYG editor (Dream Weaver) but will probably need to wait until my student loan for the summer comes through. (We can chalk up any inane typos to complete exhaustion.) I am getting a copy of Front Page from one Pirate Pete and his scurvy crew (thanks mateys!) in the meantime. Because although my domain hosting service (shamelessly promoted at the end of this post) is great in most ways, their WYSIWYG editor, frankly, blows. The sad thing it, its better than most of the other free or inexpensive page editors I've tried.
I get frustrated because I want to see my empire coming to fruition one mighty palace or fortress at a time, surrounded by helpful soldiers and craftspeople. Instead I see me, the Mighty Empress, bricklayer's trowel in hand and shovel by my side, constructing slipshod structures one brick at a time. If the invading hordes were to come riding through, I'd be fucked! (I don't use foul language in my other e-commerce blogs, but in this one, the cuss words will flow freely.)
Currently I'm dealing with the providers for my Dollar Store storefront and the Dandy Yank Superstore storefront leaving me looking like a damn fool when people come to my CLH Products and Services site, click the link, and find--well, what the fuck! Somehow the Dollar Store people didn't process my payment or they have the wrong debit card number and failed to inform me that the card didn't go through, and now when people click on the Dollar Shop link they find--somebody else's dollar shop, not mine. Well, beg your ever-lovin' pardon, but I don't want somebody else getting the tribute money that's supposed to fund the building of MY damn empire! And when they try to save a dandy dollar with the Dandy Yank (that's me in one of my many guises!) they get an Error Message from Secure2U, which is the company that handles the hosting for the storefront. When I go into my account, everything is in order. Is there a phone number a cyber-empress can call and get some tech support action? Hell no! So I fire off a few increasingly desperate emails. I WANT PEOPLE TO BE SEEING MY STOREFRONTS WHEN THEY CLICK MY DAMN LINKS!!!!! Is that too much to ask??
On the other hand, the folks at Adriatic Internet services which will provide the storefront for my adult site contacted me both by email and on the phone to find out how they could help me build my empire. Let me say that Ryan is The Man! He was friendly, professional, and I knew I was working with people that were going to help me construct a store I'll be proud of. All I know is, when I'm paying out the bucks for a product, I want some bang for my buck! So far, Adriatic Internet is providing the fireworks! And I think my customers will be pleased.
We live in a society where people want everything yesterday I work from dawn to dusk to build my empire with very little rest, and then from dusk to dawn at my regular job, stealing some clandestine shut-eye on the infamous Short Couch in the corner (my head is crushed up at one end--its no wonder my neck problems aren't improving bery rapidly!) and I curl myself into a semi-fetal position with my feet sticking up over the other end. Great for the spine align--NOT! I haven't even started working on the book site yet although I do have a very nice template. (Which is more than I can say for the current half-assed entry page at CLH Products and Services. Ug-lee, and looks like a kindergartner designed it! I feel like my fat out of shape self is swimming a race upstream against Michael Phelps.
The fat and out of shape part is another frustration but I won't blather on long about it. Suffice it to say, screwed in the genetics department (having a great-grandmother who was five feet tall and weighed 300 pounds, and I take after my mother's side of the family who gain weight easily but have trouble taking it off) endocrine problems (thyroid and pancreas) There's not enough time (or energy) to exercise properly (I walk the dogs) and I have a tendency to eat on the run. But I'm trying, Kids! Instead of eating a meal at work I've had two nutrition bars at 220 calories apiece over the course of the night and will have a green tea latte to the tune of 165 calories at about 5:30 AM so I'll be alert for the drive home. One of the things that building my e-commerce empire would allow me to do is work a bit less at my night job so I could be more rested, hopefully have less fibromyalgia flare-ups (ahh, the feeling of habanero pepper oil mixed with Ben-Gay and injected into the muscles and joints!) begin incorporating exercises such as swimming (look out Michael Phelps!) back into my life, and maybe by the time my son has kids, be available as a helpful and doting Grandma. (The ole Empress is having trouble seeing the computer screen at this moment, Folks, 'scuse me while I grab a Royal Kleenex to dry my eyes.) My son's going on seventeen so this won't be for a few years yet I hope, but I want to be there for him when the time comes. I also want to have more time for spiritual pursuits. While the Buddha doesn't damn anyone to hell for not going to Temple regularly, how are you going to advance spiritually when your spirit is chained to the constant pursuit of capital so you can pay your over-inflated mortgage and space rent on your Trailer Park Palace?
I've always wanted my own business and I've always wanted to do something that would make a difference. In my youth I desperately wanted to be Adored as well, as in being a Movie Star and/or a Rock Star and/or a Famous Author. Well, I'm too much of a toad to be a Femme Fatale, though if you piss me off I'll body-check your ass against the nearest wall and then I'll be a Fatal Femme, but I still wouldn't pass up the opportunity to do some character acting. I'm a real ham at heart (or my heart may be made of ham.) I love music of all kinds, but as far as performing it myself I far more suck than rock. As to the Famous Author thing, I write constantly. I have blogs upon blogs, most of which are hidden from the eyes of the narrow-minded because I tire of hearing "ewww, you have so many blogs, what's WRONG with you" (I have bipolar disorder, numbnuts, my mind never shuts up and I have to put my thoughts somewhere because I refuse to be medicated into zombie-dom) and they wouldn't get the off-the-wall tales I've created anyway so I only share this secret part of my empire with a select few. (Shhhh!) It took me 15 years to get the first book to press and I don't want the second one to take that long. I may never be Stephen King, but I do have a kind of twisted talent for writing disturbing and disturbed tales of esoteric terror. So I wanted to use this talent to make a difference. You'll have to check back in at the book website time and again (please keep checking back, I do think it's going to be worthwhile!) to find out the story behind the story because that's a whole chapter in itself, but suffice it to say, my mission is to raise money to further understanding and EFFECTIVE treatment of mental illness. Thus, 50 per cent of profits from the book will be donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division.
And that's where the profits generated by the rest of the Empire come in. They fund the publication and promotion of the books!
I also have a side interest in helping others avoid pitfalls when building their own cyber-empires, which is why I have an entire area devoted to affiliate programs and my E-Business Review and Straight Dope blogs to share the lessons I've learned. While I do earn commission if someone signs up with one of the affiliate programs I feature, I will never hard-sell or lie. If you want to develop a reputation as a straight shooter you can't deal from the bottom of the deck. (The Gunslinger is another of my personas. I love tales both tall and true from the Old West and I love Stephen King's Dark Tower books.)
I hope you'll join me in my journey to make my Empire a place that stands out among the literally billions of other cyber-monarchies. I've started to feel like I've found materials to construct my dreams with that can really shine! And if I can help others build their dreams too, a person can't ask for more in life.
With Expectant Hopes for a Brighter Tomorrow
(ok, you can puke now!)
Cie
(the Empress)
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5 comments:
I started my home-business when I was at my most desperate. Single mother of toddler, no job, 50$ a week for groceries after diapers.
Selling on Ebay is still the best & fastest way to make money online. I can advise you extensively on this, but you'll need to know what appeals to you and be ready to research it to death. Selling Gothic Jewelry? Adult category items? Readings?
You can then refer your Ebay customers to your websites.
Since you like to write maybe Helium could be of interest. It won't make you money right away, but the potential is very interesting for the long-run. (It also has some very helpful articles on making money online.)
Then there's the Surveys. Here's a good starter article on Paid Surveys.
You'll need a Paypal account for all of this. Most customers/sites prefer to pay with Paypal these days, AND you could use it to automate the selling of your book from your website. People could pay you through Paypal and then receive a download link to your book. Instant gratification. I know that's how I'd like to buy it. ;)
I also recommend Download.com as a source for good freeware and shareware.
There are so many opportunities out there it's easy to get totally lost. In your situation I'd focus on the above mentioned first. A lot less hassle, much more profitable, and you can expand it to other stuff later as money starts to roll in.
Good luck, you can do this!
Thank you, Prince!
Just kidding--I know who you are, and this really is helpful info, which I will use.
Is it worth it to get that making money with Ebay software, or should I just hack and slash my way through?
It's raining freakin' buckets here in the Empire and snowing up in the mountains. They actually had to close part of the interstate. Shee-at, I thought we were done with this crap! I should know by now, always expect the unexpected.
So that's where all the rain's gone! =)
I hacked & slashed my way through.
Basically, I sold the stuff in my cellar first, and then re-invested some of the money I made with it. This gave me some invaluable, hands on experience without risking much.
I used the Ebay-search-button/advance search options quite liberally, to determine the trends in the categories that interested me.
I also picked great tricks of trade by lurking on Ebay forums and discretely copying...er I mean, observing more successful sellers.
In time I bought (on Ebay of course) a good scale (25$), a digital camera (200$), an older version of Photoshop (about 50$), and a program to keep track of my listings. (40$)
And there's a great program to prepare your auctions offline, that's free to download here.
Ever since Ebay has started allowing user to post their tips and tricks for free in a special category, it has become even easier for a determined newbee to get going without making the mistakes we did.
By the time you wade half-way through these guides, I think you'll have a pretty good overview of what you'll need to do.
If you have any other questions, let me know. :)
When my bank sends me my new checkcard (I thought I lost my other one, I didnt) I will be doing some internet shopping. . . on your e-commerce sites. I cant wait for this book to come out. Im practically salivating.
Good luck, Cie.
Your commenters are very interesting here. I think when I retire I will sell some of our old junk on E-Bay. I also have inherited some racist but historically interesting books I would like to get rid of on a rare book site, something like Abe Books, I guess.
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